What the fuck is it with people anyway!
What I believe is none of your business anyway. And I should be free to do so. Apparently not. Just because I do not recognize any religion doesn't mean I'm going to hell.
I think more accuratly it's not as if I don't recognize any religon as my own. Religon to me seems quite mystical I'm not really sure if I buy it.
I'd rather not say I'm a jew, just because I was raised a jew. I want to say I belong to a religon based on my own thoughts and interpretations. A lot of religons are all like "This is what is right. This is what you think." with no room for thought.
I hate how I feel that a lot of religons don't allow me to think. I have my own thoughts about god, life earth, death, and the otherworldy.
But I like a lot of religous ideas. like the budhist Nirvana. And the muslim saying As-salamu alaykum.
God? I'm so cunfused here.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Inevitable
Tell me, oh great world. What is the point of living another day. We all die in the end. Why waste precious air and space when all life causes chaos. Is it worth trying to change a world where in the end all we do is die.
It all happens whethter we wish it to or not. It's inevitable. Simple as that.
Life itself is fine. I only have the occasional death wish as every honest person will admit to. It does not shame nor spite me. Life strikes me as nothing but a plane of reality. I feel as though once we leave this plane of reality, we do not cease to exist we simply join another plane of reality.
To be clear I'm not talking about re-incarnation. The idea of reality planes is not a new one by far and is widely exepted by a great many scientists, scholars, and philosophers.
But at the same time I look around me and I think if this world has so many problems, why bother try and fix it. Just go with the flow.
Yeah thats right. Just go with it and watch it crash down around you. Just watch. Just laugh.
It all happens whethter we wish it to or not. It's inevitable. Simple as that.
Life itself is fine. I only have the occasional death wish as every honest person will admit to. It does not shame nor spite me. Life strikes me as nothing but a plane of reality. I feel as though once we leave this plane of reality, we do not cease to exist we simply join another plane of reality.
To be clear I'm not talking about re-incarnation. The idea of reality planes is not a new one by far and is widely exepted by a great many scientists, scholars, and philosophers.
But at the same time I look around me and I think if this world has so many problems, why bother try and fix it. Just go with the flow.
Yeah thats right. Just go with it and watch it crash down around you. Just watch. Just laugh.
Sadness
I look out into the world everyday. And you know what I see. I see sadness. there is no happiness here. Not anymore. We've all driven our selves to a point past happiness, past insanity.
We have destroyed ourselves and souls as a society. Nothing that our country was started for exists. Never did. The naivete and stupid do nothing but believe. There is no more room for hope or belief. It's been
destroyed.
The human populace can only handle so much. We are bringing the apocalypse. Everyday,we see we do. We don't stop. This madness is on a roller coaster slope, We won't stop until we crash. It's out of our hands now. None of us can do anything but prepare mass graves for the ones who are doomed.
Watch out world. The ones you trust most will destroy you. Take away everything that is yours, and leave you all alone with nothing.
There is no more room in my soul for this. For you. For the hate you showed me. I am not strong. I am not weak. I am simply floating along the horizon of nothing. Waiting.
Someday. You will be repaid. If anything can. I can only hope the fires of hell are enough to tear you apart, burning limb from burning limb, melting flesh from muscle and bone.
But no. I can't wish such things upon one I've loved so dearly. How could I?
Maybe because I am capable of love. I can love others. I just find most aren't worth loving. Why love only to get hurt. Being hurt when I can stop it makes no sense to me, but then again neither does the inevitable. I guess it's all a moot point, a dead zone. Or maybe it's all inevitable. I guess we'll never know.
We have destroyed ourselves and souls as a society. Nothing that our country was started for exists. Never did. The naivete and stupid do nothing but believe. There is no more room for hope or belief. It's been
destroyed.
The human populace can only handle so much. We are bringing the apocalypse. Everyday,we see we do. We don't stop. This madness is on a roller coaster slope, We won't stop until we crash. It's out of our hands now. None of us can do anything but prepare mass graves for the ones who are doomed.
Watch out world. The ones you trust most will destroy you. Take away everything that is yours, and leave you all alone with nothing.
There is no more room in my soul for this. For you. For the hate you showed me. I am not strong. I am not weak. I am simply floating along the horizon of nothing. Waiting.
Someday. You will be repaid. If anything can. I can only hope the fires of hell are enough to tear you apart, burning limb from burning limb, melting flesh from muscle and bone.
But no. I can't wish such things upon one I've loved so dearly. How could I?
Maybe because I am capable of love. I can love others. I just find most aren't worth loving. Why love only to get hurt. Being hurt when I can stop it makes no sense to me, but then again neither does the inevitable. I guess it's all a moot point, a dead zone. Or maybe it's all inevitable. I guess we'll never know.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
SELF CONTROL
okay people...this ones not by "sarz in the starz"...CUS ITS JORDAN BITCHESSSSSS
and this ones for all those people out there that cannot control...their...stuff...
see sometimes you have to take a second a think to yourself, would grandmother smile upon this? would you say that to her face?? WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER???
well, i hope not...
YOOOO ISS NAOMIIII.!!!!
And I sayy...I LOVE(D)
1. Davone
2. Justin
3.Brock
4.Xaiver
5.The other Justin
6.Irwin
7. Summo' People that i caint remeberr rite noww.
BTW, I'M BLACKK, HONKIES.!!
and this ones for all those people out there that cannot control...their...stuff...
see sometimes you have to take a second a think to yourself, would grandmother smile upon this? would you say that to her face?? WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER???
well, i hope not...
YOOOO ISS NAOMIIII.!!!!
And I sayy...I LOVE(D)
1. Davone
2. Justin
3.Brock
4.Xaiver
5.The other Justin
6.Irwin
7. Summo' People that i caint remeberr rite noww.
BTW, I'M BLACKK, HONKIES.!!
Indifference
I've given up.
On love. On hate. On sadness. On hope.
I see no point in trying when in the end I just end up getting hurt. My current outlook is "why bother trying when we all get hurt in the end."
It never lasts, not love nor lust.
With everything between breakups and death, our happiness always ends up in sadness. It never lasts.
Please don't misunderstand me. I live a semi-averagely unhappy life. But I am not one of those suicidal teens you see on TV. I just resemble one. I just think it would be better to live without getting to close or getting hurt.
Maybe I should just do whatever the hell I want Live without regrets. Should I really care if I hurt those who care about me.
The answer is YES. I don't think i can stop caring. It wouldn't be human.
I just hope.
Maybe this time I won't be hurt.
On love. On hate. On sadness. On hope.
I see no point in trying when in the end I just end up getting hurt. My current outlook is "why bother trying when we all get hurt in the end."
It never lasts, not love nor lust.
With everything between breakups and death, our happiness always ends up in sadness. It never lasts.
Please don't misunderstand me. I live a semi-averagely unhappy life. But I am not one of those suicidal teens you see on TV. I just resemble one. I just think it would be better to live without getting to close or getting hurt.
Maybe I should just do whatever the hell I want Live without regrets. Should I really care if I hurt those who care about me.
The answer is YES. I don't think i can stop caring. It wouldn't be human.
I just hope.
Maybe this time I won't be hurt.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Family
If you love your family, and they love you it's pretty clear my blog isn't for you.
But who's like that. HONESTLY! [but good for you though.]
My family isn't like that. We arn't close. In short they want me dead. They've said it to my face. I need help. I can't make it through this. I'm going to runaway. Soon. I don't know when, but I can't live like this. If you can help me please!
This is the sad aftermath of a breakdown. I don't know if I can live much longer. Sorry.
If you're reading this and go to school with me, you probably notice I'm bright bubbly and happy. Well at home I'm just the opposite. All I do is hide in my room. Not neccasarily because I have a choice either. Because at home. My family doesn't want me around. To them all I am is a waste of space.
Everyday I used to wake up and hope it'd be different.
I've given up on hope.
As-Salamu Alaykum
But who's like that. HONESTLY! [but good for you though.]
My family isn't like that. We arn't close. In short they want me dead. They've said it to my face. I need help. I can't make it through this. I'm going to runaway. Soon. I don't know when, but I can't live like this. If you can help me please!
This is the sad aftermath of a breakdown. I don't know if I can live much longer. Sorry.
If you're reading this and go to school with me, you probably notice I'm bright bubbly and happy. Well at home I'm just the opposite. All I do is hide in my room. Not neccasarily because I have a choice either. Because at home. My family doesn't want me around. To them all I am is a waste of space.
Everyday I used to wake up and hope it'd be different.
I've given up on hope.
As-Salamu Alaykum
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
This Is Death
Around, all around, the shadows gather.
My dread grows as the dagger of your words falls against my heart.
It crushes me, and darkly my
essence drips
to the broken ground.
In abject fear I hang my head
while death hovers close.
Now alone, my cry of mercy falls upon uncaring eyes.
This is death
My dread grows as the dagger of your words falls against my heart.
It crushes me, and darkly my
essence drips
to the broken ground.
In abject fear I hang my head
while death hovers close.
Now alone, my cry of mercy falls upon uncaring eyes.
This is death
As-Salamu Alaykum
Society
It sickens me. Everything about it. The way we feel judged. The way everything we do is looked down on, frowned upon.
Nothing anyone does anymore is done right. The only way it's done right is if it's done YOUR way. Not his way, her way, or my way. It has to be your way or the highway.
I'm sick and tired of being told I can't even die right. Hell, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired!
Oh geez. This is my hell. All I want to do is live my life without being judged, and to be free to think MY own thoughts, and have MY own opinions. But no, I can't do that now can I?
Society, you and you alone cause so much hate and dicontent. I don't know how you do it either especcially when you idolize the rock bottom of life. I guess thats your trick, toss some glitter on it, cuz all that glitters is gold.
There are so many easliy impressionable young people out there that see what society idolizes and attempts to become it.
It sickens me. All of it.
You know what? I'm not going to sink to that leval. I am, and will continue to be MY OWN person. Belonging to myself, unique and an individual. I'll be all the better for it. I don't have to blend in to the masses.
As-Salamu Alaykum
Nothing anyone does anymore is done right. The only way it's done right is if it's done YOUR way. Not his way, her way, or my way. It has to be your way or the highway.
I'm sick and tired of being told I can't even die right. Hell, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired!
Oh geez. This is my hell. All I want to do is live my life without being judged, and to be free to think MY own thoughts, and have MY own opinions. But no, I can't do that now can I?
Society, you and you alone cause so much hate and dicontent. I don't know how you do it either especcially when you idolize the rock bottom of life. I guess thats your trick, toss some glitter on it, cuz all that glitters is gold.
There are so many easliy impressionable young people out there that see what society idolizes and attempts to become it.
It sickens me. All of it.
You know what? I'm not going to sink to that leval. I am, and will continue to be MY OWN person. Belonging to myself, unique and an individual. I'll be all the better for it. I don't have to blend in to the masses.
As-Salamu Alaykum
Pedophiles.
Think about society for a moment people.
For centuries middle aged and old men married girls as young as 9-10 years old. To me it only makes since that today we have men praying upon these innocent young ones. The question is: Is being a pedophile wrong, or simply doomed upon our selves from history?
The phrase "history repeats itself" comes to mind here. At this point I'm prone to contradict and question everything I have seen on TV and been taught. I truly think that humanity brings these things upon ourselves. We almost ask for it in a way. It's like be careful what you wish for. Old man wishes for pretty young virginal girl for a wife, and gets it. Fast forward several centuries and you get peodophiles.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm okay with pedophiles. In fact I am whole-heartedly against them.
I simply ponder what makes them tick. Maybe there enticed by the soft sweet skin, and rosy cheeks. Could the playful innocence in a childs face make the pedophile want to be the first one to teach the child the ways of the world? Who knows.
Again I am against them! I don't think it's right for pedophiles to attack, rape, molest and kill children. I beileve that children have an innocence that should remain innocence as long as possible.
Another question: we have gays, whom are atracted to men. Lesbians, whom atracted to woman. Assexuals, whom are atracted to neither. Should pedophiles be included ( as a sexuality) since the are atracted to children? But this raises deeper questions as well, like If we did, what would become of society?
Oh well maybe a post for latter.
As-Salamu Alaykum
For centuries middle aged and old men married girls as young as 9-10 years old. To me it only makes since that today we have men praying upon these innocent young ones. The question is: Is being a pedophile wrong, or simply doomed upon our selves from history?
The phrase "history repeats itself" comes to mind here. At this point I'm prone to contradict and question everything I have seen on TV and been taught. I truly think that humanity brings these things upon ourselves. We almost ask for it in a way. It's like be careful what you wish for. Old man wishes for pretty young virginal girl for a wife, and gets it. Fast forward several centuries and you get peodophiles.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm okay with pedophiles. In fact I am whole-heartedly against them.
I simply ponder what makes them tick. Maybe there enticed by the soft sweet skin, and rosy cheeks. Could the playful innocence in a childs face make the pedophile want to be the first one to teach the child the ways of the world? Who knows.
Again I am against them! I don't think it's right for pedophiles to attack, rape, molest and kill children. I beileve that children have an innocence that should remain innocence as long as possible.
Another question: we have gays, whom are atracted to men. Lesbians, whom atracted to woman. Assexuals, whom are atracted to neither. Should pedophiles be included ( as a sexuality) since the are atracted to children? But this raises deeper questions as well, like If we did, what would become of society?
Oh well maybe a post for latter.
As-Salamu Alaykum
Just me
I'm just a girl, just an ordinary girl. I've got my issues, but dont we all? I love my life right now. It's got it's complications and who doesn't have those.
Writing is my escape from reality (hence the blog). I think everyone needs an escape, mine just happens to be writing, drawing and playing guitar. I suck though [at guitar. Not the other thing!]
I have a few intersting opinions on life and death. I can be reeeaaally depressing sometimes. In fact, after people get to know me and everything there is to know about me, they ditch me. Plain as that. Just Kaput. Or at least my "best freind" did.
Oh well people can be stupid.
Oh and I end all my posts with "As-Salamu Alaykum" wich means "may peace be with you"!!!
As-Salamu Alaykum
Writing is my escape from reality (hence the blog). I think everyone needs an escape, mine just happens to be writing, drawing and playing guitar. I suck though [at guitar. Not the other thing!]
I have a few intersting opinions on life and death. I can be reeeaaally depressing sometimes. In fact, after people get to know me and everything there is to know about me, they ditch me. Plain as that. Just Kaput. Or at least my "best freind" did.
Oh well people can be stupid.
Oh and I end all my posts with "As-Salamu Alaykum" wich means "may peace be with you"!!!
As-Salamu Alaykum
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Noticing You
The way your singing in your sleep
the way you look before you leap
the secret thoughts you keep
you don't know
but I'm noticing you
The way your touch turns into arcs
the way you slide into the dark
the beating of my open heart
you don't know
but I'm noticing you
As-Salamu Alaykum
the way you look before you leap
the secret thoughts you keep
you don't know
but I'm noticing you
The way your touch turns into arcs
the way you slide into the dark
the beating of my open heart
you don't know
but I'm noticing you
As-Salamu Alaykum
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